Click through the above links to learn more.

What is Ron's Law?

Get married. Stay married.  Live happily ever after.  Some people marry the right person the first time.  Others are not so fortunate.  How do you know if you have the right partner for life?  Ask yourself the following questions:  If most of your answers are yes, you might want to reevaluate your decision to seek a divorce.

• Which qualities attracted you to your spouse in the first place? Does your spouse still have the character qualities you found so attractive when you first met?
• Is your spouse honest, trustworthy, faithful, loyal, supportive and kind?
• Is your spouse willing to change and grow to meet the dynamics of your relationship?
• In what ways will divorce have a harmful effect on you or your family? Will staying married have a more harmful effect?
• How will the divorce affect your family, especially your children?  How will staying married affect your family, especially your children? Does that matter to you?  How much?

I have discovered over the years that most people believe that if they change partners they will have changed their lives. Change is an inside job. Most people who change partners find a replacement who is pretty much like the original. If you are considering a family reorganization, think twice and consider counseling instead. However, if you must divorce, make the procedure as positive as you can. Use it as an opportunity to acquire communication skills and develop powerful parenting strategies that are in harmony with the fact that parents are forever. You will be involved with your children’s other parent for the rest of your life. You have the ability to make that relationship healthier.

On Remarriage:   If you intend to remarry, I recommend that you wait at least three years. Psychologists say that it takes a minimum of three years to heal from the hurt of divorce. If you don’t wait, you’ll likely marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons and go through the unfortunate cycle again.  My advice for the first three years is: Attention toward all, with Intention toward none.

When you begin to think of marriage to a new partner, I recommend psychological testing and counseling for you both, preferably the 16PF, administered by a mental health professional who is expert in interpreting test results.  Find a qualified licensed mental health professional.  Have the testing completed, and then commit to counseling for a minimum of six months.  Discuss sexual issues, discuss financial issues.  Explore the potholes and pitfalls of the relationship in advance.